by Laura Bax
'Sacrificing minions – is there any problem it can't solve?' - Xykon, Order of the Stick
Well, if you have a Voracious Dragon and the right goblins to feed to him, the answer is – no. A great big heap of direct damage tends to bypass most other threats. But it all comes down to making sure your dragon gets the right healthy, nutritious goblins at the right time.
After spotting Voracious Dragon in the Conflux cards lists, once I'd stopped going 'woo!' a lot, I had a look through the Shards of Alara and Conflux lists for goblins. I hadn't really noticed any outstanding ones during my initial look-overs, and a more detailed search still failed to come up with what I was after. I've been playing goblins a long time now, and I've seen some damn impressive ones over the years (sadly, most are no longer Standard legal) but these aren't it. They're OK, they'll do the job, but they don't add a great deal either before or after they end up in a dragon's gullet. They're the faintly unsatisfying supermarket ready-meal of dragon food. What I was looking for was something with a bit of extra, a bit of spice – gourmet goblins.
The boggarts of Lorwyn and Shadowmoor blocks will provide this nicely. Here we have a whole heap of gobbos whose main aim in life appears to be death, plus Boggart Shenanigans to add a bit of extra kick when they hit the graveyard. Mudbutton Torchrunner and the Murderous Redcap stand out here. Even better, champion your Murderous Redcap with Boggart Mob, meaning you still get the damage at dinner-time whilst in the meantime you've got a 5/5 who makes more goblins. If you think this is a bit expensive for goblins, try adding Frogtosser Banneret. Mad Auntie and, going back to core set, Goblin King will reinforce your gobbos prior to lunchtime and also make the redcap damage that much bigger. Plus, Goblin King's mountainwalk ability is extra-fun when everyone else is trying to play 5-colour, providing a nice supply of mountains. Huge, unblockable, unstoppable gobbos running everywhere! Mwahahahahaha!
Ahem.
Actually, one of the main problems with this is that your gobbos may have given the other guy a complete doing before your dragon actually gets there. Assuming they haven't, timing is important when dishing up your goblin vindaloo. Aim to get your dragon on the table when your opponent is tapped out and/or has nothing in hand to avoid annoying counterspells or wimpy prevent-all-damage cards ruining your dragon's appetite. Ideally, the dragon should make his appearance just as your opponent has played their great big, ultra-expensive, ultra-rare thing (think Nico Bolas or Primogenitus) and is sitting back smugly thinking this has won them the game. There's nothing like your dragon's best Mister Creosote impersonation to wipe that grin off their face and the figures off their life total.
I do feel that this should be a game-winning move. Otherwise, your dragon is likely to find himself recuperating under an Oblivion Ring for the rest of the game and even if he doesn't, he is unlikely to be enough to tackle the aforementioned ultra-rare stuff. Lifegain is likely to be a problem, so pack Everlasting Torment in the sideboard. If there are particular cards you're worried about, Earwig Squad can help. Wort, Boggart Auntie can assist if you're losing goblins too quickly in the early stages.
This deck is, like many goblin decks, light on defense especially against flyers. The best form of defense here is attack – beat your opponent's life total down as fast as possible with your mountainwalking gobbo horde then bring on the dragon feast as soon as you can.
At first glance this may seem like simply a Lorwyn-Shadowmoor goblin deck with a few extras from other sets. However, I do think the Voracious Dragon is one of the key themes of this deck and, although your opponent may not realise it until it is too late, is what the whole thing's leading up to. It overcomes a problem I've often found with goblin decks which is that if the first surge of goblin charges is not enough, the deck soon looses momentum during the middle-late stages of the game. Now the deck packs a very explosive end-game card for use just when your opponent thinks he has weathered the tide of goblins and is now safe...
'Just one more goblin, Monsieur? Go on, it is only wafer thin...'
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